13 years-old...

For some reason, my year as a thirteen year-old was both horrible and note-worthy. But not necessarily in that order. Stories from that year always work their way into my everyday conversation. And I never seem to run out of them. Especially the ones that I should be embarrassed about. And believe me, there are plenty of those.

My youngest son and I took a trip to NYC a few days before Christmas. He is getting married in April and this was a gift from my hubs. Memories and such... While we were traveling I brought up one of the "incidents" aka "real things that I tragically did/said as a pre-teen". He had never heard it and as I retold it we laughed so hard. I can't even remember what it was about... The time I (miserably) tried out for my middle school choir? My first facial blemish and the ensuing band-aid? How "Laura Stuart" is a oft-used verb for throwing someone under the bus, as I often was by her? My strict obedience to yearbook photographers who told me to say "cheese" like they did to everyone yet no one else did? My "best" friend Janice, who I believed was doing me a great favor by switching outfits with me so I could go to the skating rink without the shame of my new pants suit, which, of course, she wore and, oh, the outfit was a great hit? There are so many that I lose track. I just asked hubs to name a story and he said, "Which teacher said you were acting cutesy while you were giving a speech? And then you started crying? And then she said 'are you crying'?". Then I had to correct by reminding him, "No, that was my freshman year of college in a class full of seniors and an entire different horrible year"...but I digress.

I was painfully self-conscious for a great part of my life. I think that's why my thirteen year-old stories bring me so much joy. It's the fact that I can now laugh at events that so horribly rocked my world. My friend, Kate, even wants me to write a book of those stories. I think I just might...

Good Sounds and A Trick

The expression "you can't teach an old dog new tricks"? Well, I don't know about that, cause my dogs only know 2 tricks: they can sit on demand-if they feel like it, and, they take really good naps... But, what I do know is this: "You can teach a 51 year-old woman new tricks-if she's willing". Now that's a good one...

So today I'm liking some sounds. The sounds of Canada Geese flying overhead, just the occasional, distinctive honking heard above the loud whirring of their wings, that's a good sound. The sound of my 2 year-old GrandBoy saying "Hewwo, Bubby", that's a good sound. The fact that I can FINALLY say, "I got my household garbage out on the day before Thanksgiving this year", that's a good sound. That I'll tell Larry "I'm going to Fairhope today", where I'll pick up a ham for lunch tomorrow AND stop in to my favorite Fairhope shops, that's a good sound. That I'll say "my turkey is thawed and ready to roast" today as opposed to having to bathe and baby it on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, that's a good sound.

And I'm liking the sound of someone telling me "What you shared with me was so good. It's changing my life. Thank you. I know it was hard for you to tell me that, but you did anyway", maybe not in those exact words, but something like them.

That's my new trick. Listening and obeying. Even though it may be something I THOUGHT was against my very being. Even though I don't like to tell people what I really think. Even though I think they might not like me very much if I tell them that. Even though I've been chicken.

If you're "stuck", if you're in a rut or funk, perhaps it's because you're not DOING what you heard Him tell you to do. It's not an audible voice that you hear with your physical ears, but down on the inside of you, it's that thing that you know you were to do. Or something you knew you were to share with someone. It's not too late. Ask God to give you the opportunity again. And when that opportunity comes, don't miss it. It won't hurt as much as you thought it would. Because, the thing is, you'll be in that rut until you do what you know to do.

And then you'll say "that's a good sound". Cause, if I can, you can...

Oops...

So. We've been back almost 2 weeks now. I've done the laundry. I've napped with my pups. I've snuggled my GrandBoys and celebrated Ethan's 2nd birthday. I've shopped. I've been with my church family. I've watched Auburn football. I've driven my car. But I've also just gone through the motions...

Cause, I've missed our life in Argentina.

I've missed that great sense of purpose. I've missed that everyday feeling of being in the middle of something bigger than me. I've missed seeing fruit ripen seemingly immediately. I've been irritated that I came back "home" a different person while so many others seemed the same. I've been angry that people more experienced at going didn't tell me that coming back would be so hard. I've gritted my teeth and cried to see people I love making dumb or damaging decisions when the Answer is so simple. Sad. Irritated. Angry. Mopey.

To put it simply, I've been of no good.

Oh! But today I remembered! I'm not the servant of my emotions! My emotions work for me! A mopey me is a disobedient and defeated me. The joy of the Lord is my strength! Literally! His plan for me (and for you!) is so much bigger than what we can feel and see right now.

So, I'm making changes. Again. I'm changing the way I think. Again. I'm changing the way I talk. Again. And I'll continue to make adjustments.

I'm telling you this, you see, cause if I can, you can...

Home?

We're here.

The laundry is done. I've been to the grocery store. I've walked through Target with my mouth agape at the abundance of items to purchase. I played with my pups. I've held my GrandBoys. I've slept in my cozy bed.

But glad to be home? No. My home is Heaven.

We are sitting on "go". Ready to obey at a moment's notice. Content but not satisfied. The only thing that will satisfy is to do what God tells us to do, say what He tells us to say, go where He tells us to go. Nothing more, nothing less...

I refuse and actively resist being sleepy and complacent. I will not shy away from speaking the truth in love. I won't be afraid to do things I've never done before. I consider "comfortable" to be a dirty word. I won't be that.

We didn't return from our time in Argentina the same. We have been forever changed. And we plan to stay that way.

Right now, I'm enjoying my time here. I'm getting reacquainted with my favorite shops. I'm enjoying dog walks. And thinking of Christmas preparations. Maybe I'll clean my house. Maybe I'll watch a good movie.

But home? No, not just yet...

I woke up a bit earlier than I had planned. Our bags are packed. We did what we came to do. We said what we came to say. But I wanted to sit in my perch and look at the mountains just one more time...

We knew when we made arrangements for this trip that it would be good. We knew there would be a lot of work. And a lot of change. We just didn't realize then that the ones changed so much, would be us...

We taught, preached, shared, spoke, laughed, sang, danced, ate, drank and lived. And as time went by, we got it. Yes, it was for "them", but it was also for us. We saw people transformed before our very eyes. We saw spiritually dead people receive life. We saw the light come on in the lives of Believers and witnessed their resolve to walk in that light, no matter the cost. We saw people sacrifice comfort and money and time for the opportunity to grow. We experienced deep relationships with people even though our words with them were few. And every step of the way we sensed that our lives would never be the same because we would never be the same. Never.

There are things that need to be done. And He needs us to do them. Just like we are. Not when we've reached perfection; but now. And when we do them, we don't finish. We begin.

Well, it has happened.

We are just a few days from heading "home" now... I'll get to listen to stranger's conversations and understand them. I'll hear sea gulls. And southern drawls. I'll get to hold and kiss and smell my GrandBoys. I'll get to hug my dogs. I'll get to embrace my loved ones who made it possible to come here.

But... I'll miss the mountains. And the language. And my little apartment. And the currency that looks like play money. And the food. But mostly, I'll miss the people.

Who knew I'd feel this way? He did.

So again, I'm relying on Grace to keep going. To not miss out on anything. To give all I've got while I'm here. To finish strong.

That's how it should be with all of us. All the time.

Don't look too far ahead. You might not be able to process what you see. And you'll get scared. And you'll stop.

Instead, give right now all you've got. And then do the same tomorrow. And the next day. And don't hold anything back. Ever. From anybody. Cause somebody needs you and what you have to offer. Right now. And you might not even know who.

But He does...

Today is election day in Argentina, and it is illegal for the citizens to not vote. Since 6 pm last night until 6 pm tonight, public gatherings are not permitted. Including church services.

So this morning, we are preparing for a busy week. And a strong finish.

Our time here has gone by so fast...

Philippians chapter 4 is becoming more and more real to me... Before we left to come to Argentina, I spent so much time thinking about how much I would miss my home, my stuff and my people. It was difficult for me to discuss the month of October. I couldn't imagine not holding my GrandBoys or being with my pups for such a long time. Even though I couldn't imagine it, I SURE spent a lot of time imagining it...

The reality of it is, God has given us very clear and specific instructions on how to live. If we do what He says, we can have what He wants us to have. If we do it our dumb way, our lives will fall short of His Perfect Plan. And it is a Perfect Plan.

When we explain away His instructions with why we won't do them we are saying we know better than He does. We're telling Him "Thanks, but no thanks. I got this."... Oh my.

Philippians 4:8 says...Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8, 9 NKJV)

If you want peace, you have to stop your mind from thinking on anything other than what's listed in verse 8. Period.

In my case (and since this is my blog I can talk about me!), I am concentrating on the NOW. Not next week, or the next trip because that will boggle my brain and I could lose my peace.

So, if you need me today, I'll be in Argentina...

Another Day. In Argentina...

It's another day. I'm up early this morning. Nothing unusual about that. But then, I look out to my right at the sunrise. Over the city of Mendoza. In the middle of the desert. To my left I see the volcanic ash is beginning to clear and I can see the foothills of the Andes once again.

Did I really just say that? Did I really just see that?

We've been in Argentina now for three weeks, the longest I've ever been away from "home". I'm still the same girl...My head is full of happy endings. I'm completely involved in the story of the nesting pigeons inside the window gate of the apartment building across the way. I'm still upset with ESPN about their treatment of Auburn last season. I've found nice stores to "browse" through, tomorrow I'm going to the mall with some friends. I've found a brand of South American chocolate that I like. Yet...

I'm forever changed by this adventure. And that's what it is. An adventure...

It's not just the distance. Or the different time zone. Or the language.

It's the realization that the One who created me, knows me better than I know myself. He knows what I'm capable of. And He's my biggest Fan.

God's plan for me is bigger than I ever dreamed. And He's showing it to me one step at a time. And I'm doing it. One step at a time.

Me? I still miss my dogs. But I wouldn't miss this for anything...

I'm sitting in the living room of our apartment in Mendoza, making notes for a ladies meeting I'm to teach this evening at the church Larry preached in last night. The chair where I'm sitting is in the corner of the room near the window with a lovely view of the mountains. I call this my perch. Over the past two or so weeks, I've prayed, planned, read, studied, eaten, dreamed and listened to Auburn football and Keith Moore from this perch. It's usually a sunny and warm spot and I've watched the weather on the mountains. I could have missed all of this...

About ten years ago, Larry had taken a couple of trips to South America and I could tell that something was happening inside him. And I wasn't thrilled about it. One day we were eating lunch and he shared his heart with me. He didn't know what the years to come would look like, but he knew that there was work there for us to do. He didn't force or push me, he just shared. I cried because I'd miss my dogs...

Now, so many years later, I sit in my perch, preparing to share my Story with a group of ladies. Tonight. In Argentina. Who knew? I didn't, but God did.

At any point, I could have said "Nope". And every time I want to say it-and believe me, there's PLENTY of times I want to say it. Nay, scream it!-I think of that afternoon over lunch. And what I would have missed. Things and people in my life I had no idea were waiting for me. Places, experiences, relationships, revelation. And God has become more real to me every step along the way.

Me? I'm just a girl who misses her dogs.

You see, if I can, you can...

Starting again...

I've been trying to blog since I've been in Argentina, but couldn't change the language setting to follow the directions, they were all in Spanish... During class last night, one of the students was helping me with an iPad problem... I know! I showed him my blog and explained, through our translator, what I was having trouble with. In a matter of minutes, in between sessions, he had me set up and ready to write.

That's what my life has become. A series of lovely, pleasant "surprises". Although, not surprises to God.

So that has become my story. I don't know everything. And God is much smarter than me.

Case in point, this lovely land where I've been for the past two-plus weeks, Mendoza, Argentina. I've been here before, and I've felt this before, but never like this. And I could have said, and almost did say, "Nope. Not going."...

You see, I'm a happy little homebody. I don't think I have an adventurous bone in my body. I like my house. I like my routine. My dogs are like children to me. And then there's my GrandBoys...

When Larry was making final plans for this trip, he said, "Kim, I'm about to buy the tickets, are you sure?", to which I replied, after I burst into sobs, "What? I'm going to NOT obey God?!", and the plane tickets were purchased. Plans were finalized. And our 5-week trip was set. Oh, there were plenty of tears after that, but my decision remained.

And what we've experienced! The Grace of God has been more real to me than ever before. We've basically been on our own, not fluent in Spanish, in Argentina. Yet, we've thrived. And it's been fun. Who knew? Not me! But God knew. And I know God. So...

My "plan" is to blog the rest of the way through our trip. And then through the next trip. And through the next adventure. To share my story. I don't know everything. And God is much smarter than me.

Cause I Can and So Can You...

Starting again...