How I Almost Quit

I have a love/hate relationship with social media.

I don't like to be reminded of how easily I can be discouraged (oh, no one liked my picture! I'm the least liked person I know!). But, the good thing is,

I'm also very easily encouraged...

My social media timeline is full of an extended trip we took 4 years ago. 4 years! I remember the specifics like it was yesterday. I remember the packing, and the nerves, the sadness of leaving my first GrandBoy (would he remember me?!?), the sadness of leaving my 3 pups.

But, I also remember the sights and sounds. I remember the adventure. I remember the friends we gained. The apartment and city we called home for 5 weeks.

And I remember that Grace of God.

It was real. It was tangible. It changed my life.

I was speaking to some Dear New-Old Friends, friends, who by the way are Heroes of Faith to us, and retelling the memories of our most recent trip to our South American home. A trip that, because it came with a hefty price tag that we're still paying, I have remembered as a failure. A big, fat, miss.

But somehow, in the retelling of the details, something changed. Listening to myself tell the tale, I said, "oh my gosh, that's amazing! I can't believe we did that..." My memories had gone through the filter of everything we'd done wrong, and I'd forgotten everything we did right. And we did a lot right. We experienced many things that many people haven't even dared to dream of.

So today, when my online "you did this 4 or so years ago" showed up, instead of cringing, I smiled... Instead of hiding from my shame, I smiled at my bravery.

Everyone's story isn't for everyone. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea. 

But...

I'm Somebody's favorite (and so are you), and He's not ready for me to stop. 

So I won't.

And, if I won't, you don't have to either...

Let's...

We've been having a difficult time navigating our day-to-day these last few months.

Big changes, different things, bad stuff, things we didn't anticipate...

We've gone through the motions of our everyday, but often with broken and lost hearts. We laugh, but it's been an uncomfortable laugh. Our attempts at light-heartedness have been awkward. 

"He" has been the last thing on my mind. I'm set like steel to do things the way that I know how to do them. But this is outside my realm of experience. I rejoice. I cry. I laugh, but I ache. 

People who love me say that I have to get through this. But I don't know how. I want to curl up in a ball and stay there till time passes. 

And the last thing on my mind has been Him...

But, this morning. I got up and went to church. I wanted to be with my Little Boys. And again, the last thing on my mind was Him...

In the middle of the worship music, it was if I turned around and saw Him standing there. He wasn't mad at me. He wasn't impatient. He wasn't rolling His eyes and telling me that I had to get past it. He was just standing there, waiting for me to turn and look for Him. Ready when I was ready. And I was. And I am...

I tell you this, so I can tell you this...

I'm nobody. I'm just a girl who loves her dogs and her people. I don't know much but I do know this:

Don't stop now. Do what you need to do to get through whatever it is that you need to get through.

And. If I can do it, you can do it.

Let's go.

Mentor Wanted: Must be older, wiser & more fun than me...

I'm inspired by a lot of people. Everyone in my life brings something different to "my table"... But this morning, one of my Heroes made a reference to song lyrics on his blog. Lyrics that I didn't recognize. I looked through the comments for clues, but found none that rang my bell-of-remembrance...

Side note: I'm not one that likes to be left out of current events. It's why I will sit and watch an award show, waiting to be a first-hand observer of that one moment everyone will be talking about tomorrow... It's why I love Jimmy Fallon (he's so relevant). It's why I watch Idol, or The Voice. Or the Super Bowl, even if I don't have a dog in the hunt. I just don't like being left out.

But back to this morning...

I googled the piece-of-the-lyrics that my Hero mentioned and discovered it was a Prince song. I appreciate Prince. I watched and laughed when he was on New Girl (cause I'm relevant). But I didn't grow up listening to his music. In fact, he was popular when I was a young-mommy, and that's when I took an unintentional break from pop culture. No movies, no music. We did get a VCR during that time, and rented The Jewel of the Nile about 6 times cause we didn't want to accidently rent something racy... But I digress...

So, I've been thinking about Prince. I downloaded the song, Let's Go Crazy, by the way, and I've listened to it about a dozen times, as this is how I enjoy new music...put it on repeat for a few days. Anybody? 

Prince. Teachers. Friends. Artists. Business owners. Almost everyone in my circles (or, wannabe circles) is younger than me. And while I love and learn from all those around me, I'm longing for another perspective... The perspective that comes from having raised your children. The perspective that comes from being married to the same man for over three decades. The perspective of having grandchildren. The perspective that comes from having an empty-nest and missing your full-one. The perspective that comes from wondering "now what"? The perspective from enjoying newly-found freedom. The perspective that comes from enjoying new-things in new ways.

I'll continue to love and glean and learn from my people. And I'll like it. But, also, there's my new want-ad:

Wanted: Mentor. Must be at least 55 years old. Must be married at least 30 years. Must have grown children. Must have grandchildren. Must be fun. Must be lots of fun. Must have some problems or else I'll get discouraged as my problems are many. The pay and hours will be terrible. The rewards, however, will be outstanding as I am an excellent student.

Something like that. 

Hoping that you sound a bit like me. Hope you're surrounded by all types, shapes and kinds of people. Hope you love and are loved. Hope you, too, are earnestly and comically looking for more...

Happy Thoughts

Feeling a bit like writing this morning and thinking of my Happy Thoughts...thought I'd put them on "paper" and send them out into the Dear Void (You've Got Mail reference. A fave)...

I love my husband. I'm so grateful for him, for how he has accepted me and my weirdnesses. How he "loves" my dogs, even though he didn't grow up a dog-person. He indulges me in my sadness, in my silliness, in my times of epiphanies, yes, epiphanies. He's a good listener and I'm glad he didn't change the kind of man he was when I was younger and dumber and wanted him to be weaker. I love how "interested" he is in my projects. And my shopping-purchases. He's one of the hardest-working men I've ever known. And one of the most-intelligent. And one of the wittiest...

I love my sons. I always have. All I ever wanted to be was a mom. I wasn't, and still am not, the Best Mother in the World, but , I love those boys. I'm sort of obsessed with them, and used to tell them that if I wasn't their mother, I would've had crushes on them, to which they would reply, "Gross, Mom"... Now that they're grown, I love their wives. That sounds funny, but let me clarify, they each only have ONE wife. I love that there are women in the world who love my boys and watch out for them and want to create Good Lives with them. Which brings me to my next love...I love the children of my sons...

More than I ever thought possible, I love my GrandChildren... I love the way they talk and that they call me Munny-not all of them just yet, as my Girl is too young, but it's coming... I love the way my Grands smell. I love the curves of their respective noses... I love enjoying childhood with more time to enjoy and a different perspective with which to enjoy it. And, spoil them and then send them home for their parents to deal with? Not me. I wanna be a help to their parents, not someone who makes their job tougher. Plus, I'm ALWAYS sad when good-byes have to be said...

I love my friends. My closest friends are a treasure. They keep me going. They spur me on to good works. They're my cheerleaders and my coaches. My shoulder-to-cry-on and my-kick-in-the-butt when I need it. Oh, I often need that.

Good children's literature makes me happy. Books written with a classic-style, yet fun...

Good illustrations and font-choices can make or break. I have several books for kids-and their parents-that I've started writing & creating here and there...one day, I'll get serious about them...

Cute children's clothing is a Happy Thought. So are stuffed animals. And anything made by Maileg, but especially the Mice... 

Pieces of mismatched china. Old silverware. I love traveling...NYC and South America especially. But I also love coming home. Snuggling with my pups. Thoughtful people. Gift-giving. Walking in the sand. Walking in the snow. The early-morning sunlight. Watching my Little Brother and his sweet family. The example my mother was and is to me-she set a high bar for caring for people. My dad's laugh is one of my favorite sounds. And my GrandPup is a joy...

Talking about a few of my favorite things makes me happy. PS, I have LOTS of favorite things...

Trash, Treasure and Stuff

Every year January shows up. We talk of new beginnings, and resolutions. Things we'll do differently. Things we'll do better. We determine to be our better selves. We'll lose weight. We'll work out more. We'll be kinder, gentler. We'll help more elderly ladies to cross the street. We'll bake more cookies for our neighbors. We'll learn to paint. 

Me? I always throw away in January. Junk drawers, closets, baskets and bins. I pull my trash can nearby and toss. I'll have a bag or 2 of "to be donated" items. It's how I get my fresh start.

But, while I throw away, I remember. Old photographs, momentos and souvenirs. Places, times, people. Memories, both good and bad, have helped to make me the person I am. I am a culmination of my experiences and the people I've experienced along the way. My triumphs and my mistakes have brought me to the place I am.

It's the same with all of us. 

So, this January, while we purge and resolve, let's also make room for our histories. Let's include them in our day-to-day. Let's learn from our past victories and grow from our mistakes. Let's move ahead, doing things we've never done before in ways we've never done them BECAUSE of what we've learned. Let's be brave and daring and unafraid. 

Throw away what's rubbish, but create a spot for what is, in fact, an old-treasure. 

Those chipped and missing an ear. Those things you bought at an estate sale for a dollar. Those things your husband refers to as clutter. But, I digress...

Let's use those treasures in new ways. Let's create new things as a result. Let's share what we've found, discovered and created with one another. Let's applaud those among us who've done just that. Or, are doing just that. And encourage others to do the same. 

Let's redefine trash. Let's rethink treasure. Let's be about what's important and let's do it together.

Cause, if I can, you can...

PS, I'm not just talking about stuff... Spoiler alert. People are treasures, too.

Returns

Sitting in the airport in Santiago, Chile, with a VERY long layover, waiting for our flight back to the United States. It seemed to me a good time to reflect on this latest trip...

We touched base with many of our loved ones. Hugged some former students. Spoke words of encouragement when we could. Spent time with Dear Friends. Traveled to beautiful spots where we've never been. Dreamed of things to do and ways to do them. Saw some of the most beautiful things, and some disturbing things. We find that each trip here has a different flavor. Maybe purpose. Perhaps design. There's something special to us about this part of the world. It's a connection.

But as I type, my thoughts aren't so much of what just happened, of what we just experienced, but more of what is about to happen...

I'll see my Grands. I'll hug my Little Boys. I'll visit my GrandGirl (who is already many ounces heavier than when we left!). And visit my New Sweet Nephew. I'll snuggle my puppies. I'll decorate for Christmas. I'll watch my Auburn Tigers on a big screen tv!

And I'm sure I'll begin dreaming of the next visit to the vineyards of Chile and the next time I hear worship songs sung in Argentine Spanish...

It's a good time to be us.

News and Such!

Time passes. Things happen. Blogs go untouched. Or sumpin like that...

What HAS happened is that Baby Black Dog (my Etsy shop) has had its first stranger-sale! Someone who isn't on my list of Facebook friends and who is someone I don't personally know, has made a purchase from my shop! Whether it was through an Etsy ad, or a pin on Pinterest or a friend of a friend is unknown at this time, but it's a good thing and I'm pretty excited...

It was a bit of encouragement at just the right time and I wanted to share it with you. Cause I know you love me. And I know that lots of you "get" me. And I'm so thankful for that.

So, if you'll excuse me, I've got some creating to do.

Cause...

I'm out there and LOVIN' every minute of it!

Babyblackdog.etsy.com